The Difference

After nearly a decade of camping with at least one child in tow, I can very safely say that it changes the entire experience and preparation quite a bit. This is more the case when it comes to longer trips, and even more so when it comes to backpacking with a child. Planning out my second trip with my oldest, who will be eleven at the time, I had to seriously sit down and look over what went wrong last time and what to do now. For me, this is basically relearning how to backpack.

I went on my first trip almost 30 years ago and have been doing it ever since whenever I can (with a little break when the boys were too young). Looking back though, I was always a little rough. Same basic cheap food every day, generally hiking all day with dinner and bed the only evening activities. No air pads, no camp chairs, no frills. It’s not that this kind of thing wouldn’t fly with my son; it’s just not really his idea of a good time. The thing is, as I get older, it’s not really mine either.

With this in mind, I’ve started reequipping and more importantly rethinking my approach.

It’s Not the EcoChallenge

This is my number one. I love the idea of pushing myself. I’ve had dreams of adventure racing since I first got into backpacking, canoeing, running, cycling, etc. However, going on a trip with say a 10/11-year-old is probably not the best time to test your limits. This even goes for yourself. The last thing you need is to be so exhausted that you can’t actually enjoy this precious time with your child. I learned this one the hard way along with a number of other things on the first trip with my son that I discussed in a previous post.

Plan out your trip based on what will be comfortable for them. This is particularly true if they’re fairly green but holds even for a more experienced backpacker. I was always told that it’s good when hiking in a group to put slower hikers in the front so you don’t leave people behind. That mindset is good to have during the planning stage as well. Find smaller trips to start. This way the experience can grow with them.

If you’ve done a lot of backpacking or camping in general, you likely have a pretty good bucket list of locations and activities that you’re itching to try. The time for this will come, or at least that’s what I tell myself. I came very close to souring my oldest on backpacking by picking a first trip that I was excited to do without thinking about his skill level. We thankfully still got through it and he’s ready to do more. That almost wasn’t the case though.

Warm up to the bigger/harder experiences. Follow their lead to an extent. It might be hard to wait years for that multiweek thru-hike you’ve been itching to do, but it’s better than not having anyone who wants to go with you when the time comes. Try your best to use this time to teach, encourage, and stop to smell the roses. This brings me to my next tip…

Budget Time to Explore

I distinctly remember after my first weeklong backpacking trip that the consensus was it would be great to come back to the same place and hike less mileage each day. Not every bit of time needs to be spent on the trail every day, every trip. I don’t know why I keep forgetting this, but I do. Multiple times I’ve planned a trip based on how much hiking I think we can manage each day rather than how much my companions actually want to do. I did this early on with my wife when I introduced her to backpacking and repeated the error on the first trip with my oldest. With luck two missteps are enough for me, and hopefully I can save you from the same pitfall.

Now granted, there are always going to be certain days when a set number of miles need to be covered. If you’re on your last day and need to get back to the car, you can’t exactly go at whatever pace you want. This is where planning comes in. I know my son can handle 8+ miles in a day with pack. Honestly, I was surprised when he did this at the end of our last trip. That said, the end of the trail was in sight, and he was shot by the time we finished. For our upcoming trip, I’m planning to average a little over half of this.

I know, this greatly limits your options, especially when the number of days you can take for a trip are limited. Backcountry options are a big help here. If you can make camp at any suitable location, you’re not forced into set distances between nights. This is the route we’re going this time around. Short days, with time to explore each day. To be honest, some of my favorite sites in the past have been non-sites, and I think it adds to the spirit of adventure.

Another option is alternating hiking days. I haven’t done this one myself… yet, but it’s always sounded good. Push yourself a bit for a day to get as far as you can. Then have a rest day to enjoy the location. This is a great opportunity for day hikes without that pack on your back, which can feel almost effortless if you did a full day weighted down.

Either of these will definitely cut your overall distance or extend the time you need. I’m painfully aware of how much this can be a little discouraging. The silver lining is that chances are, it’s only discouraging to you. My boys love time chilling at camp or exploring the area. So, to them having the off time is awesome. Just in case though, make sure that you have something to do in that extra time.

Bring a Frisbee

I have a very minimalist attitude about free time activities. This isn’t just a camping or backpacking thing. I’ve always been content to just sit. It’s not that I don’t love having things to do, I just equally enjoy not doing anything. If your child has this mentality, lucky you😊, but there’s a good chance they will want something beyond staring at the calm water on a lake if you have hours left in the day when you reach camp.

My boys certainly want to be active and entertained to some extent. I go out of my way to try to teach them that they don’t always need “something to do”. However, I’m also trying my best not to push this too far. This means bringing some type of selection of games, etc whenever we go camping. A lot of the time most of it doesn’t get used, but all it takes is one washout to be grateful you brought them.

Backpacking presents its own challenge here. Sure, if you’re driving to a rustic cabin, you can bring board games and pretty much anything else that strikes your fancy. I’m not putting Catan in my backpack to carry for a week with nowhere to really set it up even if I did. Most outdoor toys and games are equally space prohibitive. We always have a soccer ball when going camping, but not exactly good for the trail.

At this point, I’ve narrowed it down to three things: a notebook, a deck of cards, and a frisbee. I always have a notebook for jotting down my own thoughts and notes on the trip, but this is separate from that. The type will depend on your child. A sketchpad if they’re on the artistic side, lined paper if they might want to write. Get their input here if you’re not sure. A deck of cards has always been in my backpack, even when I was pushing for longer days. In fact, we generally keep one in our car just in general. The frisbee is a new addition for me, but it seems to fit the bill: easy to slide into even a fully loaded pack. This will be my first actual backpacking trip with one, so we’ll see. Makes sense on paper anyway.

Talk

This might seem like one of those goes without say things, but It’s in here for a good reason. On two of the day hikes I’ve gone on with my boys already this summer we’ve had pretty good conversations. On both occasions I was told by one of them how much shorter the distance felt because of it. Well duh, right? But they didn’t know this, at least not from experience. To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking of it either.

For me, quietly enjoying the peace and beauty of nature on the trail is a huge part of why I do this. I love silence. I love immersing myself. This is why I’m planning a solo trip (my first amazingly enough). I’m learning that traveling with the boys I need to change my expectations. I still ask them to have their quiet moments because I think that it’s important. You realize after a while though, that constantly telling them that they’re scaring away the animals or aren’t properly appreciating the surroundings gets old. On top of that, you end up making as much noise as they do trying to get them to stop making noise.

My suggestion, plan time for both. This doesn’t have to be a strictly scheduled thing. Just realize that some of the trail time is going to be conversation and fooling around a bit. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand, there’s no harm in it. As a bonus, you might even get to know them better in the process. Remember, that’s really what this is all about. Nature is wonderful, which is why we go, but we go with others to experience it together.

Curb Your Anxiety

This one is easy for some, and easier said than done for others. I fall into the second category. Anxiety is big in my family. We’ve pretty much all dealt with it in one way or another. Even my youngest is showing some signs, which means we’re 5 for 5 as a group. So, how do you go on a week long trip with just the things on your back to a location you’ve never been when you sometimes get anxious just going to the corner store? You just do.

After decades of dealing with exactly that, you would think I’d have more sage words of advice. There’s a lot in that “You just do” however. There are plenty of things that unfortunately that feeling inside has stopped me from doing through the years. At some point I made a pretty much unconscious decision that camping, and travel in general, was not going to be one of them. In the end, finding calm moments on the trail actually helps in the long run.

This in no way means that the feeling is gone. Hence the term “curb”. Even if your child doesn’t have the same anxiety regarding a trip, a sure-fire way to give them the same issues is by letting yours get the better of you. I’m not saying hide it. Especially if your travel companion is having similar trouble, it can be good to acknowledge it. That said, anxiety breeds anxiety, so to whatever extent you can conquer yours, remember, you’re doing it for them as well.

Accept That Things Will Go Wrong

Speaking of anxiety, there are perfectly valid things to be anxious about when backpacking. I have yet to go on a trip where at least one thing didn’t break or go wrong. This can be a small disruption: guess we didn’t have that second clothesline. Or a large disruption: looks like we’re hiking twice as many miles today to a new campsite, since there’s been a lone wolf prowling the area. Yes, that second one did actually happen to me and my wife on our Isle Royale trip.

It’s a rare day when everything goes as planned. To someone who likes to plan every detail, sometimes months if not years out, this can be a hard pill to swallow. The beauty is that in almost every instance, it’s all in how you handle it. I once got some great advice that no matter what happens, it’s all part of the story. Even an absolutely miserable time in the moment can be a great tale to tell.

Prepare the best you can, plan the things you can plan, do everything you can to make it a memorable experience. At the very least, try to have that as your mantra. Do your best to live up to it and enjoy the ride. If you can even partially manage this, I can all but guarantee that your companion(s) will be on the way to loving it as well.